Top 5 Mistakes that Create a Life of Anxiety & Overwhelm
Having coached hundreds of people through changing deeply entrenched anxiety and stress-producing habits, a few key mistakes really pop out. These are very common behaviors (or lack of behaviors) that produce and perpetuate anxiety, often without awareness. James Bond may jet set around the globe getting shot at with a cool, calm exterior, but anyone who lived his lifestyle for real would be an anxious mess. We must cultivate the lifestyle and habits that produce calm, clarity and ease in our lives. It's worth the work. You deserve it.
Download this cheatsheet of the habits you have to master to design a lifestyle of relaxation and ease.
It's Time to Kick the Anxious Life for Good
Humans were not designed to live like we do now - traffic, advertising, massive to do lists, sitting all day, trouble sleeping at night. This lifestyle creates anxiety, and it comes out as stress, overwhelm, feeling frazzled, not being present, not having any fun. Deep regrets.
Anxiety has so many detrimental effects - from less enjoyment of life, to impaired thinking and relationships, to poor performance in negotiating and navigating work and life. A life plagued by anxious thoughts, constant stress and no relief could almost be considered a life not worth living. You deserve more than this. You deserve a rich life, filled with friends and ease. One in which you do each thing with purpose, vitality and enjoyment. One that you feel proud of.
To change your stressful habits and your anxious life, to design your life for relaxation and ease, it will take some significant work and dedication. Change is not easy and ironically, the process of mastering anxiety is stressful! Our brain resists change and thinks of it like it thinks of a stalking tiger: danger. You'll have to go through the fire instead of around it to get to the other side. You'll fail many times and need patience, support and self-compassion to pick yourself up yet again and keep going.
I've coached hundreds of people through making big changes in their lifestyles, changes that last. I've studied behavioral science in health and wellness for almost 2 decades, done NIH research and designed, tested and run behavior change programs for some of the brightest companies and medical centers out there. I know what works. And I know how to guide people through it.
There are 3 things I highly recommend if you want to change your stressful life and start living bold, relaxed and free:
1. Join the Club
Join a group of other anxious people who are actively working on changing their habits - camaraderie boosts motivation and success.
Each month, the AlterActions anxiety club members get a primer on the science and behavior change techniques for a new advanced skill, a workbook of habit building and guidance through a challenge, lots of sharing and support and a wrap up full of lessons learned and strategies for making the changes last.
2. Follow a Master Plan
You need to keep going step by step, and stick to it long term (not like New Year's resolutions, which somehow get forgotten). You need a master plan, one that isn't too hard, so you lose motivation or give up, and isn't too easy, so you don't get bored. One that engages you and inspires you. You need a plan that's been tested and researched and known to work. Take the 8 week course and Master Anxiety Forever.
3. Get a Coach
Research shows that having a coach that can help you through your personal pitfalls makes a tremendous difference in changing behavior. Eliminating stress is so worth it but it's hard. You need support. And it has to be reliable, there for you when you need it, happy when you do great and never mad at you for changing your patterns. You need a coach.
A personal coach costs more but it will pay off fast.
Coach Kendra totally made a difference in my progress. I'd tried everything before I signed up for coaching and she taught me advanced stuff that I had never heard of before. It really worked for me. And with someone to hold your hand and help you get back on the horse when you fall off (and you will), it keeps you going when you would otherwise quit. If you've never had a coach, you're in for a treat.